Monday, January 17, 2011

Chaotic Cleaning Collision of Cool... Caribou

So I discovered a new method of cleaning the other day. I like to call it "Whirlwind Cleaning". This is a type of cleaning where you give yourself about 1 and 1/2 hours for you and your spouse/roommate/poor innocent friend roped into cleaning with you must go throughout your entire condo/dorm/home/apartment/etc. cleaning the main areas that need... cleaning. Now, to some, this may sound like normal, weekly cleaning. To those of you who are as naturally compulsive as I am, you understand why I have a problem with this. You see, when I start to clean my condo, I become a stubborn, OCD, nit-picky cleaning fiend. Instead of just doing the minor cleaning things to make the condo look nice and neat, I have to go all-out and make sure I clean every nook and cranny perfectly.

This becomes a problem because it tends to create an "all or nothing" cleaning theory. "If I start now, it is going to be a difficult, drawn-out process that will take hours and hours to accomplish. Therefore... nahhhhh. I will try another time." See that being a problem? If not, please read it again because it is super obvious.

This becomes a massive issue because then the condo gets messier and dirtier, yet I refuse to clean up because I know how much of my day it will devour. Well, this compulsive cleaning style comes to an abrupt halt when a guest calls up and says that he will be there in about an hour and a half (much earlier than you expected). Chris, if you are reading, yes... that was you.

This happened the other day, and boy, I will tell ya... although my jaw dropped at the news of an early arrival, I didn't have time to pick it back up! *Insert image of me running around the condo cleaning whilst my jaw sways limply to and fro* ... kind of a disturbing image... reminds me of Jacob Marley in Disney's animated A Christmas Carol. If you have seen it, you know what I mean. If you haven't, what are you waiting for? Go see it right now. I know it is mid-January, but seriously... now. Trust me, it is good. Anyway!

I didn't know that I could clean so fast. It was like magic. Oh, and let's discuss how my mom and dad gave me this new vacuum that they weren't using. It is one of those ones that has the bag compartment rolling around while you vacuum using another piece attached by the hose... something like this...

So anyway, I have officially named mine "The Ninja Vac".

Please note the legit ninja dress shoes.

That's right... ninja. Why? Because as I was busting around the condo with that thing, I could detach the head, use the hose to pick up bigger things (small pieces of paper and such), reattach it, and resume vacuuming in seconds flat! With my other vacuum, it was a big hassle because the hose was looped around a hook and attached to the side; hard to explain- all you need to know is that it was a pain in the bootayyy. The Ninja Vac is thusly named because I plugged the cord into the wall on one spot- ONE SPOT!- and it reached the whole condo. Yes, my condo is a relatively small size, but not that small! Let's also discuss the annoying cord situation that occurs with other vacuums:

1. You spend a junkload of time unwrapping the cord in order to vacuum the house- a task that you don't want to do in the first place!

2. You vacuum each room, dragging the cord to as far as it can reach, getting frustrated when it runs out prematurely.

3. You (annoyed) pull the cord out of the outlet, plug it into another outlet, and proceed.

4. Finally, you are finished. Phew! Ahhh, time to relax, but then... NOOO! The cord... it still needs to be wrapped BACK around the hooks on the vacuum.

5. Wrap, wrap, wrap, wrap, attempt to clip the plug onto the cord... attempt again... drop plug... oh snap! It is unwrapping again!!! Re-wrap, clip plug, chuck vacuum angrily into the closet and proceed with the rest of the cleaning- that is... unless you are too stinkin' frustrated to continue at that point.

Not with the Ninja Vac! You simply press a button, and the cord retracts back into the vacuum... that's right. Be jealous. Needless to say,





with my new vacuum!

Thanks, Mom and Dad! I appreciate the Ninja Vac more than you could even fathom! Did I mention that it sucks the dust right off the baseboards? Ahhhh, blissful vacuum.

Thus, with my new vacuum, my hubby, 1 and 1/2 hours of time, and a bucketload of stress, that condo was ready for company. At least, I hope so... Chris, if it wasn't... stuff a sock in it!!! I need the other readers to believe me!

Anywho, do you have a similar impromptu cleaning extravaganza story? Please share it below as a comment! I would love to have a good laugh over a story with which I can relate. If you just want to express that you liked or disliked this post, feel free to use the "Fast Feedback" buttons. Have a glorificiouso day! And happy cleaning!

P.S. I am aware of the fact that I shouldn't begin a sentence with a conjunction... it is called WLS: "A Writer's License to Style". No, I just made that up actually.


  1. Ok, I need to make something clear here. The vacuum was a duplicate vacuum that I had from joining two homes together. Because I gave the vacuum away does not mean that I no longer vacuum my own home. Just wanted to throw that in for clarity. This line made it seem like I had abandoned the vacuuming process "Oh, and let's discuss how my mom and dad gave me this new vacuum that they weren't using" The end.

  2. Every time us kids tried to "whirlwind" clean my Mother responded with a weekend of "deep cleaning" :)

  3. Marilou: LOL!!!!!! I love your clarification!!

    Brittany: Another awesome blog! Speed cleaning is great - cleans the areas that your guests are going to SEE during a brief visit -- just don't let them open a closet (or in my case go in the laundry room!) cos that is where all the "junk" gets hidden when we have parties etc!! SOMEDAY I aim to have my house "company ready" at ALL TIMES! (at least the MAIN areas of the house)..... I've only been married for 32 years - so I WILL get to this goal someday -- ;-) I hope you reach that goal sooner than I will! LOL!! Love you!! ENJOY your clean house today!!

  4. @Mom Thanks for clarifying! LOL! I didn't even think of it that way! Haha! Thanks for the comment. Yes, everyone... my mother DOES, indeed, vacuum! =D

    @DeanO That is the good thing. Once you have "whirlwind" cleaned, you then know what needs "deep" cleaning! =D You just skip them for the time being! That is what I need to do now as a matter of fact. Thanks for commenting!

    @Mrs. E Thanks! Remember, my "laundry room" is the same room as the bathroom, so I am DOOMED!!! LOL I have to make sure pretty much everywhere is clean. I am happy that we have the storage area downstairs. What you should do is invite someone over every weekend. That way, your house WILL always be clean because you don't have TIME to make it dirty! Haha! Thanks for the comment!

  5. Speed Cleaning -- baby wipes should be kept in EVERY household for this very purpose: they are perfect for wiping down bathroom and kitchen surfaces quickly when company is coming, and cheaper than chlorox wipes :)
    But, I'm also not OCD about cleaning in the first place.

    BTW, I'm Angie, somewhat related by marriage to you. Becky posted a link to your blog and I've enjoyed popping in to read from time to time.

  6. Yeah, they are probably SAFER than Clorox wipes, too! It isn't like I am one of those people who needs the house sterile all of the time; it is just that if I AM going to clean, I go CRAZY cleaning! Ughhh! I just need to find the balance. This weekend taught me that.

    Nice to meet you! Thanks for commenting! Oh yay! I am glad she is posting them; Facebook was my main form of advertising before I got rid of it. Glad you enjoyed the blog! =]

  7. Where do the caribou come in? They must have come when I went to go pick up Chris...

  8. LOL, surrrrreeee.... haha! No, that would be me going a little crazy with the alliteration. Hehe! Love you! Thanks for the comment! <3

  9. the mental image of you tripping over your very slack jaw is quite amusing. :) i like it. :D And i always wondered what kind of shoes ninjas wore! humph! mystery solved! :D love you. :)

  10. Hehe! Glad you enjoyed that visual, LOL. Hahahahaha! I know, right? Who would have thought... just normal, black dress shoes. I thought that was hysterical when I saw that pic. This whole ninja getup and then... business-y dress shoes? Nice. Love you, too!

  11. I pretty much do this whirlwind cleaning every Friday night. On Friday night we always have 2 or 3 friends over for dinner and drinks. Sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we play games, or sometimes we just sit and get into in depth conversations. I love having people over, and the friends that join us have become some of our closest friends. The downside, however, is that after a long week of working (sometimes both of my jobs) and Austin being in school and studying in the living room, the house is messy. Not a disaster zone, but definitely too messy for my comfort in having people (even close friends over). The result is that when I hit the front door after work on Friday, I immediately warp into a whirlwind cleaning machine. Last night, for example, The house was clean in 45 minutes flat. I'm talking bedroom, living room, kitchen, dining room, back bedroom, downstairs bathroom, and front and back porch (including vacuuming and sweeping). Sadly, I do not own a ninja vacuum so the process required repeatedly carrying the vacuum outside to dump out the container (it gets clogged easily) as to not dirty my freshly vacuumed floors by taking it out inside. I am pretty proud of my whirlwind cleaning prowess. :) It is definitely my preferred form of weekly cleaning because I, like you, am a CDO Perfectionist. (CDO because it has to be in alphabetical order!) Great post!

  12. I say I kidnap you, bring you home with me and we clean my room! I so have no cleaning style so now it's a mess again!!! HELP!!!