Let’s begin with what the Word has to say about being a
wife. Keep all of these Biblical
qualities in mind and let the Spirit speak to you while you read so you can
test and discern my words according
to God’s Word. Please remember, I am imperfect. He is perfect.:
“10 [d] An excellent wife
who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts
in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the
merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys
it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[e]
with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her
merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the
distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her
household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f]
22 She makes bed coverings for
herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and
sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her
clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her
household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her
blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is
vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her
hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.”
Proverbs 31:10-31 (ESV)
As a stay-at-home mother, I find distraction slipping into
my everyday life like a dense fog setting me off-balance and causing me to lose
focus on my goals and God-given duties.
·
Overabundance of screen time.
·
Not enough time with my child.
·
Not enough time to maintain our home.
Unfortunately, these are always
going to be a struggle. Mommy-hood can transform into a lifelong battle between
that precious, fleeting time with our kids, distractedness/laziness, and other important
responsibilities such as maintaining our homes and schedules. Many times, if I keep these five tips
and few general principles in mind for maintaining my home, I can keep myself
from completely submitting to anxiety and that distracting fog of daily
elements playing tug-o-war for my attention.
1. Cleanse Your Spirit
“30 Charm
is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised.”
If
you take away anything from this, please let this be it. Starting the day with your Heavenly
Father is the most important thing you can do. It puts your whole day in perspective. How are you going to deal with
others? Are you going to do all
things (including that pesky laundry) unto God’s glory? It places the priority of your day
where it should be- God and complete submission to Him and His will for you,
even in the tedious tasks that many times seem unimportant to us. How many minutes a day do you spend
checking facebook, writing e-mails, blogging, watching TV, etc.? Shouldn’t you allot a portion of your
day to the one who created you and gave you all of those gifts? Get into the Word and pray. Every day. Commit.
2. Move
“17 She
dresses herself[e]
with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise
is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.”
Regardless
of the redundant nature of this point, considering we definitely move around to
get things done, I think it is important to mention that in this day and age,
we have a lot of conveniences that can give us unforeseen “down time”. You may be thinking, “The absurdity! I am a mother! Of course I do not have down
time!” I encourage you to monitor
yourself throughout the day… you may find you have more sporadic “relaxation”
time than you think (AKA checking e-mails, pinning recipes for the most
delicious treats you may never create, browsing Instagram, etc.). If you don’t have any time where you
are taking a moment and a breath, you need to set aside time specifically for
that. Nothing rejuvenates me and
makes me feel ready to take on the world like a soothing bath and a good book. However, realize that setting aside time to relax isn’t what I
am referring to in this case. I am
encouraging you to abolish unscheduled lazy time that sweeps your off your feet
and like a thief, swiftly steals a precious hour or two from your day before
you even realize what has happened. Just as there must be purposeful
relaxation time, there must be purposeful exercise time. Exercising makes you feel wonderful in
the short term as well as the long term (endorphins, anyone?). Do it- even if it is something seemingly
small. You will not regret it. It
will make the rest of your day more productive.
3. Make Your Bed
“She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.”
I
don’t know about you, but when my bed is made, the whole house feels cleaner to
me. Is that strange? I know someone out there is nodding her head to this point. When my bed is made, I have space to
fold my laundry. When my bed is
made, I can walk into my room and sigh with relief that something is crisp and orderly. When my bed is made, I feel like it is fresher when I slip
into it at night, and that puts my mind more at ease so I can drift to sleep
without the heaviness of the day bearing down on me. For me, that is my “if I can do one thing today” cleaning duty. Even if yours is something else like
wiping down the kitchen counters daily, just make sure you accomplish that
cleaning task first. If there is
something that you for sure want to complete that is a small job, write it on
your to-do list; finish it; check it off; and feel accomplished. Sometimes just knowing you’ve started
your day off with a productive “bang” can set the stage for more productivity
throughout the remainder of your day.
4. Leave
“She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her
blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:”
I have heard it said that cleaning
while living with a child is like shoveling while it is still snowing outside. You don’t want to let the house get out
of control, but you don’t want to be so “in control” that you miss time
watching your child grow up. These
are the precious times. The Lord
encourages us to live abundantly for His glory. So leave. Go to
the park. Go to a friend’s
house. Go kick the ball around
outside. Go on a walk. The more time you spend away from your
house, the less wreckage happens inside of your house. Plus, it is great for kids to get
outside and fellowship with their friends in boisterous playtime! It is a guilt-free way of preventing
the tornado that becomes of our home before naptime hits.
5. Make Use of Your “Robot Minions”
“She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.”
Keep
your robot minions working for you at all times. If you have a washer, dryer, and/or dishwasher,
congratulations, you have robot minions!
Remember, if they are working, YOU are working, without actually
breaking a sweat (although you should never underestimate the soothing,
therapeutic power of washing your dishes by hand). Technology can cripple our productivity, but I happily place
my stamp of approval on technology that helps me clean. I will take all the help I can get!
General Principles:
·
God comes first.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and
all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
·
It won’t all get done.
The reason you
try
to keep up with it is because you
won’t
always be able to keep up with it.
On those days where you get home from an evening night outing with your
hubby and are just too sleepy to sweep, go to bed.
It will get accomplished tomorrow, don’t sweat it.
Nothing destroys a lovely evening of
romance with your spouse more than forcing yourself to labor over chores instead
of snuggling up under a billowy duvet until peacefully drifting into sleep.
Remember that your main purpose doesn’t
lie here on Earth, but in Heaven.
“Do not lay up for yourselves
treasures on earth, where moth and rust[a] destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and
steal. 21 For where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21 (ESV)
·
Give yourself a break (remember that bath and
book combo?). As long as you are
doing all things unto God’s glory, you’re doing great! “ So,
whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I
Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)
Posts
A couple of weekends ago, my husband and I spent the
majority of the day outside because it was just gorgeous- warm and sunny with a
crisp breeze. It was that kind of
day that continuously beckoned us outside, even if we tried to avoid it! Most days like that we would decide to
take a walk together as a family.
However, on this particularly inviting Saturday, I decided to do an idea
I created inspired by a previous article in Deeply Rooted Issue 1: Four Ways to Raise Creative Children (p.
83, 2014, Rogers). I decided that
on this day, my son who lives in a cookie cutter home in suburbia would get a
chance to explore nature around him.
Living in a suburban home shouldn’t be an excuse for me to not have my
child discover and explore on a regular basis. We grabbed a Mason jar, headed out the door, and began an
activity that we will frequently enjoy from here on out. We walked along the sidewalk in our
neighborhood, the same walk we have taken many a time with my son relaxing lazily
in his stroller, me walking briskly to escape the heat and “get our walk
in”. This time it was
different. This time my son walked
with us, and this walk was filled with treasures. It was no longer, “Oh see the pink flowers over there?”,
while breezing past, it was instead, “See that?! Wow! What is
that? What color is it? Go pick one of those and put it in our
jar so we can look at it more closely later!” A simple rock became a treasure. A stick? Oh,
forget about it! If you have boys,
you know that a stick is the BOMB!
We collected different colored leaves, flower buds, etc. On our walk we met a neighbor who
allowed us to pick one of his petite, purple flowers. We didn’t log a lot of miles, but we sure logged a lot of
memories. I hope that you, too,
will experience (no matter where you live) an adventure of your own with your
children- no matter the setting, treasure is there to be found!
