Saturday, May 10, 2014

Profound Musings

Why do we paint our fingernails and toenails?  When did someone sit there and say, "We really should paint that hardened flesh."  That is weird to me.  Don't get me wrong, I paint my toenails and fingernails (in fact, I am wearing Jamberry's on my fingernails currently- so I have even stepped into the let's-put-adhesives-on-our-hardened-flesh zone), but still... why?  Also, why did we decide that long, dead cells coming from our heads are attractive but coming from our legs, they aren't??  Not to mention... we COLOR those dead cells!  Do you see women highlighting their underarm hair?  I personally don't, but then again, I don't live in Europe, so I wouldn't know.  What if we painted our hands but NOT the fingernails... and what if we were bald with long, braided leg hair?  What if people put cute clips and bows to adorn their furry legs?  Also, why don't we pluck our eye lashes?  Why is it somehow attractive to have REALLY long, black, thick hair coming from around our eyes?  Who suddenly deemed that as hot?  Who decided that she would be so much prettier if a man could look into her eyes and see them surrounded by thick, long hair?  AND WHAT IS UP WITH EYEBROWS?!?!  Furry caterpillars that society cannot seem to decide whether they look better as little, skinny caterpillars, or big, thick, juicy caterpillars...We've never decided that "no lashes" is in?  We never went through a phase where "thinning" our eyelashes was super cool... but at one point, thin eyebrows were in... Why don't we curl our nose hair?  "LIKE OH MY GOODNESS!  YOUR NOSE HAIR IS TOTES MAGOTES THICK AND CURLY!!!  WHAT MASCARA DO YOU USE!?!?"  Why is some hair better looking than others?  Who decides this?!!

I think from now on I am going to compliment someone's nail polish by saying, "Wow!  I love the way you decorated your hardened finger flesh," just to get a reaction...