Posts
I have been about as good writing blogs about this pregnancy as I was with my last pregnancy! (In case you are a recent follower, that means indescribably BAD.)
I am 6 months pregnant already, and, boy, did it go by quickly! I really popped out around 21 weeks and have been growing since! This pregnancy has been much more enjoyable this time around since I started the journey thinner and healthier. I have avoided gluten this time, eaten better in general, and continued exercising (Insanity, floor exercises, and, more than anything, keeping up with T.J.- swimming, biking, walking, kicking the ball around, going to the park, etc., etc.).
Thank goodness I have kept in better shape because when you are taking care of a toddler, you never know when he is going to get sick and you are going to be up until midnight cleaning up vomit... multiple times...
not that that happened recently or anything...
This time around I am taking apple cider vinegar, keeping fiber a consistent part of my diet, and drinking a lot more water than I did with my first pregnancy. By the grace of God and His sovereignty, T.J. came out beautifully perfect! However, this time around, I feel better. I am sure that Daniel will be healthy and beautiful, but I feel that would have happened even if I lived off of peanut butter M&Ms and Cheezits like I did with T.J. This time it is nice to see that my rings still come off easily, the bones and veins in my feet still show, I can still wrap my fingers around my wrists just as easily as ever. I feel great! I have been so blessed.
The self-esteem is a beautiful thing, too. Every woman wants to still feel "little" and beautiful during her pregnancy. That was never something I felt or was really told during my first. Why should it have been? This is by no means a pity party! This is me remembering how poorly I chose to take care of myself and that I reaped the repercussions.
This time around, I cannot tell you how many times I was pretty far into my pregnancy and people didn't even KNOW I was pregnant. How many times I got the "Would you just SHOW already!?!" comment. How many times I have been told how little I still look...LITTLE!! ME!!! I have also been called beautiful so many times. I know these seem like petty little vain things, but I gotta tell ya, when the scale is going up and won't be going down for a LONG time, your skin is getting stretched, you are tired, and you don't know if your nose is going to blow up to 3 times its size or you are going to bust out in full body acne any day now, getting called beautiful sure makes the experience special.
The true beauty of motherhood is that I am beautiful when I have my hair up in a bun, a makeup free face, and sweats on, cradling my child before he goes to sleep at night. I am beautiful when I am in exercise clothes at the park chasing my kid around the playground playing Captain Hook and the Crocodile (Yes, it does get morbid at times, thanks for asking- he is a boy, what can ya do?). The beauty comes from the fact that I am literally playing with, sculpting, teaching, and pouring into a being that God formed IN MY BODY. WHAAAAT?! SO STINKIN' COOL!
Don't get me wrong. I don't think motherhood is at ALL an excuse to look unkempt, dirty, and disheveled by any means. I read a blog recently that made an awesome point about the fact that this is my DREAM job- for any other dream job, I would make sure I look like a million bucks to show that I love and respect what I do. I thought that was a very refreshing perspective on taking care of oneself during your "career" as a mom. But, as always, I digress.
Guess what, guys... I get to do all of that with a second kid!!!!! All of the spitting up, diapering, potty training, play-dohing, finger painting, train track building, breastfeeding, tummy-timing... ALL OF IT!!!! I am STOKED, people!!!!! It's like I am getting elected to the presidency all over again. I am getting that call about landing a gig to open for a major band AGAIN. I landed the LEAD in that amazing movie AGAIN. I got a promotion AGAIN. I got signed with a major record company AGAIN. I am getting to do what I have adored doing for the past 3 years ALL over again beginning in June.
Simply put: motherhood rocks and is the only job I could ever dream of wanting and loving this much.
As I sit here feeling Daniel kicking and pressing against the inside of my belly, I am full- yes of baby, but also full emotionally knowing that God has blessed us with another little boy who will be here in the blink of an eye, and off to college even sooner.
Well, I don't know what this blog post was supposed to be. An update I suppose. To cut it short...
Update: I am pregnant. We are healthy. We are happy.
As for the rest, well, I could chalk it up to pregnancy hormones carrying me away on an outpouring of grateful words expressing how blessed I feel... but I suppose it doesn't take hormones to open any mom's eyes to the beauty and blessing that "momhood" is... it just takes feeling that first kick, hearing that first heartbeat, or, hey, for some, seeing those two lines on that peed on stick for the first time!!! To cut it short....
God has a way of satisfying my soul and spirit with children.
"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him..."
1 Samuel 1:27
