Chaotic Cleaning Collision of Cool... Caribou

So I discovered a new method of cleaning the other day. I like to call it "Whirlwind Cleaning". This is a type of cleaning where you give yourself about 1 and 1/2 hours for you and your spouse/roommate/poor innocent friend roped into cleaning with you must go throughout your entire condo/dorm/home/apartment/etc. cleaning the main areas that need... cleaning. Now, to some, this may sound like normal, weekly cleaning. To those of you who are as naturally compulsive as I am, you understand why I have a problem with this. You see, when I start to clean my condo, I become a stubborn, OCD, nit-picky cleaning fiend. Instead of just doing the minor cleaning things to make the condo look nice and neat, I have to go all-out and make sure I clean every nook and cranny perfectly.

This becomes a problem because it tends to create an "all or nothing" cleaning theory. "If I start now, it is going to be a difficult, drawn-out process that will take hours and hours to accomplish. Therefore... nahhhhh. I will try another time." See that being a problem? If not, please read it again because it is super obvious.

This becomes a massive issue because then the condo gets messier and dirtier, yet I refuse to clean up because I know how much of my day it will devour. Well, this compulsive cleaning style comes to an abrupt halt when a guest calls up and says that he will be there in about an hour and a half (much earlier than you expected). Chris, if you are reading, yes... that was you.

This happened the other day, and boy, I will tell ya... although my jaw dropped at the news of an early arrival, I didn't have time to pick it back up! *Insert image of me running around the condo cleaning whilst my jaw sways limply to and fro* ... kind of a disturbing image... reminds me of Jacob Marley in Disney's animated A Christmas Carol. If you have seen it, you know what I mean. If you haven't, what are you waiting for? Go see it right now. I know it is mid-January, but seriously... now. Trust me, it is good. Anyway!

I didn't know that I could clean so fast. It was like magic. Oh, and let's discuss how my mom and dad gave me this new vacuum that they weren't using. It is one of those ones that has the bag compartment rolling around while you vacuum using another piece attached by the hose... something like this...


So anyway, I have officially named mine "The Ninja Vac".

Please note the legit ninja dress shoes.

That's right... ninja. Why? Because as I was busting around the condo with that thing, I could detach the head, use the hose to pick up bigger things (small pieces of paper and such), reattach it, and resume vacuuming in seconds flat! With my other vacuum, it was a big hassle because the hose was looped around a hook and attached to the side; hard to explain- all you need to know is that it was a pain in the bootayyy. The Ninja Vac is thusly named because I plugged the cord into the wall on one spot- ONE SPOT!- and it reached the whole condo. Yes, my condo is a relatively small size, but not that small! Let's also discuss the annoying cord situation that occurs with other vacuums:

1. You spend a junkload of time unwrapping the cord in order to vacuum the house- a task that you don't want to do in the first place!

2. You vacuum each room, dragging the cord to as far as it can reach, getting frustrated when it runs out prematurely.

3. You (annoyed) pull the cord out of the outlet, plug it into another outlet, and proceed.

4. Finally, you are finished. Phew! Ahhh, time to relax, but then... NOOO! The cord... it still needs to be wrapped BACK around the hooks on the vacuum.

5. Wrap, wrap, wrap, wrap, attempt to clip the plug onto the cord... attempt again... drop plug... oh snap! It is unwrapping again!!! Re-wrap, clip plug, chuck vacuum angrily into the closet and proceed with the rest of the cleaning- that is... unless you are too stinkin' frustrated to continue at that point.

Not with the Ninja Vac! You simply press a button, and the cord retracts back into the vacuum... that's right. Be jealous. Needless to say,

I

am

in

love

with my new vacuum!

Thanks, Mom and Dad! I appreciate the Ninja Vac more than you could even fathom! Did I mention that it sucks the dust right off the baseboards? Ahhhh, blissful vacuum.

Thus, with my new vacuum, my hubby, 1 and 1/2 hours of time, and a bucketload of stress, that condo was ready for company. At least, I hope so... Chris, if it wasn't... stuff a sock in it!!! I need the other readers to believe me!

Anywho, do you have a similar impromptu cleaning extravaganza story? Please share it below as a comment! I would love to have a good laugh over a story with which I can relate. If you just want to express that you liked or disliked this post, feel free to use the "Fast Feedback" buttons. Have a glorificiouso day! And happy cleaning!

P.S. I am aware of the fact that I shouldn't begin a sentence with a conjunction... it is called WLS: "A Writer's License to Style". No, I just made that up actually.